Threads from the Tapestry of Mommahood: Living in the moment...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Living in the moment...

Something I have been working on the last year is attempting to live in the moment. I, instead, find myself pondering the difficult conversation from last night, the exciting event in the future, or the ideals I hold in my head. It is hard for me to take each moment in stride, allowing the flow of life to continue, through feeling my emotions, acknowledging them, working through them... then moving on to the next moment. Now my little ones on the other hand have NO problem living in the moment. Truly they are the poster children for this. For example, Silas, at the park today, was enthralled by sticks. Apparently the beauty of the bark, unbeknownst to me, is quite captivating! He was occupied collecting these treasures for quite some time, but then it was time to leave. Silas did not understand why his treasures belonged in the park and no reasoning helped him understand. Thus, a tantrum ensued. Screaming. Tears. Reddened face. Flailing arms and legs. Oh... the emotional expressions of a 17 month old. Then once he saw his juice and beloved, "puffs" he was fully content to accept them as the new treasures of the moment. The tantrum ceased and peace and joy returned. He fully experienced his fascination with the sticks with much delight, he fully expressed his disappointment with having to part with them, and he completely embraced the next blessing in store for him. I wish I could express and deal with my emotions with such rawness and honesty. How I long to be able to leave the disappointing moment behind and feel the present blessings fully. I got a glimpse of the beauty of the moment today, when I held my precious sleeping baby girl in my arms. Silas was sleeping and the condo was quiet for once...I could have distracted myself with a number of tasks that needed tending to, but instead I stopped. I seized the moment. I fully experienced the joy of cuddling my beautiful E. I felt the softness of her skin and the gentleness of her breath. I became captivated with her beauty and overwhelmed by my love for her. A wonderful moment. A tremendous blessing. One I hope to never forget. How I grieve the moments I have missed by being busy with worrying, distracted by cleaning or disconnected through technology. May I learn to live more like my Silas...seizing each moment.

No comments:

Post a Comment